Thursday, April 20, 2006

Vote for the next mafia boss

Since the arrest of mafia boss Bernando 'the Bulldozer' Provenzano on April 11, the post for "boss of all bosses" of the Sicilian mafia has become vacant.

Cosa Nostra has recently been turned into a party, Grande Famiglia Italiana (Big Italian Family). Their preamble states that 'being Italian means being a part of a big family. Italians are drawn together by a deep sense of family bonds, including values such as dignity, freedom, brotherhood and participation. Today these values are being threatened by an incapable political class. Grande Famiglia Italiana is dedicated to embracing them with love'.

One of Sicily's most senior anti-mafia prosecutors has warned that there may be a war inside Cosa Nostra yesterday if its leaders failed to agree on a successor. We must do everything in our power to stop this from happening.

Visitors to Votaprovenzano can choose between the following two candidates:

46-year-old Matteo Messina 'Diabolik' Denaro, known as the 'playboy boss' because of his love of the high life. Born in Trapani, he developed a brilliant head for business at the tender age of 7 seizing the opportunity to organise a catering service as there was no canteen at school.

His rival is Salvatore 'White Fox' Lo Piccolo, 63, an old-style boss from Palermo and lover of the simple life. Some of his best qualities include being a wise mediator and has maintained a tight relationship with the American cousins.

Please remember - it's your vote that counts.


wrinkled weasel said...

You deserve a copy of "Cheesy Continental Hits" just for being so entertaining!

I love to play, "On Days Like these" whilst driving my Ferrari around those mountain roads, with the sexy sunglasses and the fag hanging nonchalantly from my half open mouth.

Pity i dont have a Ferrari, or smoke, or have sun glasses.

the link works.!!!

Aidan said...

Ah, but whichever way the vote goes, won't the other just kick up a tantrum about alleged electoral irregularities and generally just try to spin out the confusion...?

Give the older guy the honourary title, let the younger one pull the actual strings.
Everyone's happy.

Actually, no wait, judging by recent Sopranos, maybe not...

a.c.t said...

I can see a great Hollywood storyline as Salvatore 'Lo Piccolo' staring as 'Diabolik' Denaro's right hand man slowly gains more respect and eventually takes over as the boss- 'Diabolik' Denaro then gets a call asking him to meet the boys somewhere. He takes off his gold rings and leaves then in a drawer for his missus......then....whack!

Weasel - I take it I've won the crisp competition. I've already booked Monday off work to wait at home for my copy..

ginkers said...

They sound uncannily like my father (a grey-haired Silver Fox) and my uncle (a would-be Latin lothario). I must check what they have been up to of late.